Science Museum Lates - Booze, Nostalgia and Childish Glee

Well, hello again.  I realise it’s been a very long time since my last post.  I'd love to tell you that my lengthy absence was a result of imprisonment in some far off exotic paradise due to an over-zealous attempt to reclaim a mystical artefact, but in reality I've been engaged in far more mundane activities; moving house, job hunting and watching an excessive amount of Indiana Jones films.  As a result I feel I have rather neglected this project.

I have however, become much better at estimating weights.

Like the long abandoned model painting kits and other short lived hobby flings that simmer resentfully in a corner cupboard, emanating waves of low level guilt any time anyone comes near, this blog has haunted my browser for too long. So I hereby make a new commitment to keep this regularly updated, and to not let it fall by the wayside, like so many other projects.  Who knows, if this works I might go back and finally complete my Euro ’96 sticker album. What a day that will be for us all.

I would at this point like to make it clear that there were other adventures during my lengthy online absence.  It didn't take me all summer to move some boxes and watch three films (we don't talk about the fourth), but we’ll save those for another day.  Like a fine wine they’ll get better with age, I’ll have forgotten the boring parts and be forced to spice the whole thing up with fist fights and nudity. 

Right now, the big, and indeed good, news is that I've made the move back to the big smoke.  Although possibly not the greatest move financially (I’ve yet to see much evidence of the whole ‘streets are paved with gold’ deal.  I did find 35p on the tube though, so we’re close), it’s great to be back in the city of a thousand adventures.  There’s such a wealth of events going on every day that I really have no excuse for not making the most of it, and saying YES to more things.

With this renewed vigour I set off for South Kensington for an evening at Science Museum Lates – when the venerable institution keeps its door open into the night for an evening of adults-only science. Before you reach for your private browser I should warn you it’s not that type of adult – it merely means that it’s for the over 18s only. 

Adult-only bubbles

For those of you who have never braved a major London family hotspot on a weekend afternoon, it will be difficult to describe the overwhelming joy of not being surrounded by a screaming whirlwind of sticky limbs and stressed out parents, and the intoxicating sense of freedom granted by being able to stride around without worrying about accidentally kneeing a wee one in the face.  (For someone of my height, this is a very real and persistent fear.)

The absence of blockading school groups and wailing infants would probably make this a worthwhile event in and of itself - the freedom of the Science Museum late in the evening is something to be treasured.  You can spend as long as you’d like reading each and every information plaque on each and every exhibit if you so please, absorbing every last bit of mind-blowing information without peering over someone’s shoulder or being pushed aside.  You can amble through the Agriculture department, sprint headlong through Space, or simply find a quiet spot in Materials and have a little nap.  There are other people present, lots of them, but such is the difference in density that some areas felt a little like the opening of 28 Days Later, thankfully without the crushing sense of dread/zombies.

Not pictured: Zombies

But all that pales into insignificance when you realise that finally, after years out in the non-interactive wilderness, staring glumly at the stationary exhibits and reading words written on dull, colourless paper, you can and will press ALL the buttons.  No longer do you have to step aside to let the children have all the fun, no longer will you feel ashamed of being entranced by the bright lights and shapes of the magic touch screen displays.  Instead, you can plunge head-first into the brave new world of interactive learning, and marvel as dusty neural pathways are re-ignited.  Long forgotten facts bubble up to the surface, ideas and equations burst forth from their intellectual slumber and you stun your fellow guests with the revelation that you do in fact know what the three types of rock are. (For those struggling, answers are at the bottom of the post.)  It really is quite pleasant to realise that those years spent cramming the periodic table or the basics of plant reproduction into your unwilling cranium weren't entirely wasted.  An hour spent playing with the exhibits in the museum is enough to reassure that you aren't a totally useless by-product of modern society and that you could probably teach someone something in the event of an apocalypse or freak time travelling incident.  If, however, it turns out you have forgotten everything that Ms. Jeffries tried so hard to teach you, have no fear.  The soothing cartoons will guide you back onto the right path and ensure that you leave with a small child’s understanding of the solar system, which is really about as much as anyone other than an astronaut needs.

The Science Museum has always had this brilliant regressive effect on me (that’s why my parents never let me go when I was very young – a toddler can only regress so far, and it’s not pretty) – it reminds you of those moments when you were fascinated and enthralled by the little details, when science was by far and away the coolest thing there was, before it got bogged down by ‘Rules’, ‘Laws’ and ionic bonding valencies. Although not everyone was a 9 year old boy, who split his time between devouring facts about space and facts about dinosaurs, at some point they will still have had their moments of wonder, when a fact properly digested makes their mind fizz and hum, like a dose of popping candy to the brain.  It’s something that happens far too rarely for my liking these days, and so to be surrounded by so many potential boggle moments, each capable of blowing your mundane daily concerns away and reminding you that our world and our society, even our very existence, is something rare and wonderful, is frankly brilliant.

I should at this point make it clear that one of the other perks of the adults only evening is that you can drink. Lots, if you so choose.  There are numerous bars set up throughout the museum selling wine, beers and spirits, and although it’s not the cheapest place to drink at £4 a bottle/glass, it’s far better than many other places in London.  And it’s important to bear in mind that this event is completely free, like the museum is day in, day out.  Therefore each drink bought means more money for a landmark charitable institution – it would be churlish not to, really.

Pictured here: the opposite of churl

Let's run through that again - science museum, after dark, with booze. No longer is drinking in museums indicative of a severe but highly cultured problem – in fact, it’s actively encouraged.

Whilst booze is a regular feature of the Lates events, this particular evening also featured a whole host of talks, exhibits and workshops devoted to the science of alcohol – how it’s made, how it works and what its effects are.  These ranged from gin history and tasting sessions to interactive lectures focussing on the science of intoxication and mixing the perfect Martini – there was even a pub quiz, although we didn't get there early enough to take part in it.  For those looking for love, or at least a musically induced approximation of it, there was also speed dating and a silent disco, the latter taking place in SPACE.

In space, no one can hear you boogie.

I haven’t even got to the best part yet – you don’t just get child free access to the various exhibitions and departments, but also the shiny palace of joy that is LauchPad.  Again, this probably means a lot more to those who were raised on regular weekend visits to the museum, but suffice to say that it is easily the greatest science themed playground, ever.  (For those who were fed on a steady diet of science toys, they've renovated and relocated it, and it’s better than our 6 year old selves could ever have imagined.) There are machines and gadgets which let you play with reflections, light, colour, sound, magnets, electricity, levers, temperature – in short, if it’s science, you can play with it.  You can spend hours watching dry ice skitter around on the surface of water, experience songs through your teeth, make metal fly with magnets, build your own circuits, power hair-dryers with your feet, bend light with your hands and much, much more.  It appears things designed to be entrancing to the under 10s have a very similar effect on slightly tipsy adults.

All of this was made even better by the fact that, like most communal spaces in the museum, there was a DJ playing.  The majority of it went unnoticed, but at one point he started playing reggae dub versions of Radiohead tracks.  There I was, hanging out in one of my favourite childhood spots, drinking beer, listening to reggae covers of one of my favourite bands, and it was great.

Sadly, we had to leave at some point, but as they ushered us out we passed a bunch of people dressed in corsets, doing the horse dance from Gangnam Style, surrounded by landmark artefacts of the industrial revolution.  Really, what more could you possibly want from a night out?

SM Lates take place on the last Wednesday of every month, and there are tons of other Lates events throughout the capital. I heartily recommend you go.

P.S. It's igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary, in case you were wondering.